In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy
Question:
Is it permissible for a man and a woman to exchange letters regarding religious matters, as was mentioned about ʿĀʾishah bint Ṭalḥa or what was reported about ʿĀʾishah, the mother of the believers (رضي الله عنهما), when Muʿāwiyah (رضي الله عنه) sent her a letter? And is it permissible for there to be an exchange of letters between a man and a woman to facilitate marriage, meaning sending information about her or anything else that could help in the marriage process, if this cannot be done through any other means? With caution and fear of Allāh in these letters, and without being soft in speech? May Allāh bless you and reward you with good.
Answer:
Shaykh Abd al-ʿAzīz ibn ʿAbd Allāh Āl Bāz: There is no harm in exchanging letters between men and women concerning religious knowledge, religious matters, and even worldly matters. It is permissible for a woman to write to a man to advise him, ask him about knowledge, or inquire about business if she is involved in trade, or about other matters that do not lead to corruption, but rather relate to the good of both religion and the world. Similarly, it is permissible for a man to write to a woman if she is knowledgeable, asking her about religious issues, matters of lineage, or matters related to worldly affairs such as trade or land, and so on. The key is that the letters must not contain anything objectionable or suspicious. There is no harm in this, whether between adults or young people, men or women.
For example, Muʿāwiyah (رضي الله عنه) wrote to ʿĀʾishah (رضي الله عنها) asking her to write him advice or a piece of guidance, and she responded with the famous ḥadith from the Prophet (ﷺ), which states: “Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allāh at the cost of people’s anger, Allāh will be pleased with him and will make people pleased with him. And whoever seeks the pleasure of people at the cost of Allāh’s anger, Allāh will be angry with him and will make people angry with him.” This ḥadith is good (ḥassan), narrated by Ibn Ḥibbān in his Ṣaḥīḥ and as well as by others.
In another narration, she wrote to him with a different wording: “Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allāh at the cost of people’s anger, Allāh will suffice him from the worries of people. And whoever seeks the pleasure of people at the cost of Allāh’s anger, they will not avail him against Allāh, and those who praise him will eventually condemn him.”
So, the bottom line is that correspondence in this context is permissible between men and women. This applies even between a suitor and his prospective bride, where she writes to him about her situation truthfully so that he is well-informed, and he writes to her about his situation truthfully so she is well-informed. There is no harm in that, but caution must be taken to avoid lying, as it may deceive either party. Truthfulness is obligatory in all matters.
If it becomes possible for the suitor to meet the prospective bride, that is permissible, but only under the condition that there is no seclusion. If she asks to meet him, or if he asks to meet her, there is no harm, but it must be done without seclusion because seclusion is prohibited and is one of the causes of evil. The Prophet (ﷺ) forbade seclusion and said: “No man should be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with her,” and he also said: “No man should be alone with a woman, for the devil is the third one among them.” Therefore, the suitor should not be alone with the woman, but if her mother, older sister, grandmother, or stepmother, or another person is present without suspicion, and the gathering is respectful, there is no harm.
Reference: Majmūʿ Fatāwā Ibn Bāz, 274.
— Translated by Abū Dilāra Naief al-ʿAydarūs.
